when you are feeling low energy, when you are feeling stuck or need the answer to a nagging question; just take a few minutes and meditate on the 3rd chakra.

If you need a little guidance, here is a quick meditation to get your fire burning!

Manipura Meditation

Now go and shine!! Baby!

(for more on the 3rd chakra, read my blog post here)

The word mudra means ‘to seal, close, or lock up’ at one level, and at another it means, ‘gesture, symbol, expression of.  Mudras can be any body position but are most commonly movements of the hands and arms.  (hasta mudras)

My favorite thing about mudras is how portable they are and accessible they are to most people, regardless of health or circumstances.  Unlike other yoga postures there is little risk involved. Worst case scenario you waste a few minutes giving it a try!

Mudras work on the nerve endings of the body – similar to acupressure.   Each part of the hand represents or is connected to an element. Several ancient health systems are based on the concept of the balance of the five elements. Indian Medical science according to Ayurved and metaphysics affirm that distortion or impairment of the 5 elements create outer disturbance and inner sickness in the body.

Any living body is made of 5 distinct elements :

By joining certain elements together we balance these elements and they effect health and well being.

I am going to list mudras that I currently use consistently and have felt the most change with and a new one I am just getting to know!

When you see someone meditating you will most often see GYAN MUDRA (most people are familiar with this as many buddha statues are seen holding this hand positition)   This is a basic calming mudra that many practitioners use, however I have found APAN MUDRA much more effective for my own meditations.

Apan Mudra

When I first learned Apan Mudra from one of my teachers, Swami Dharmananda, he gave it to me to dispel fear and increase confidence – both of which I was very interested in (well still am!) …as I added it to my practice I just found it soothing in a way gyan mudra had not been.  when seated in meditation place the hands palm up on the thighs or knees.  Remember to keep the hands as relaxed as possible, no strain and if ache or pain occurs release the mudra. You have many muscles in your hands just like every where else and they will need some time to adjust to some of the positions.  In addition to confidence this mudra is said to help with releasing waste and purifying the system. Caution: This Mudra should not be done by pregnant ladies before completing 8 months. After that a 10 minutes practice 3 to 4 times a day will ensure normal delivery

Another mudra I use almost daily is PRAN MUDRA (Touch the points of the little finger and the ring finger to the tip of the

The truth is, I am a teacher and apparently I have always been a teacher. I haven’t always relished or fully embraced the role of teacher.  Internally I see myself as mostly student.  I love learning.  I seek – crave – desire learning. It’s a quirk.  I devour books and truly only become focused and clear when absorbing information. For much of my life the only time I felt connected to something larger than myself was when I was learning.   Then came yoga. 

Oh make no mistake when I found yoga (or more precisely when it found me) I was still in learning mode, definitely full and complete absorption. When yoga and I met all other learning seemed to lose its shine.  At the time yoga and I started to get to know each other I was in a masters program that suddenly held no interest for me, I was cheating on my first love “higher education” and I quickly dropped out and devoted myself to my new interest.  I had found a better way to fell connected.  But I’m getting ahead of myself.

Before yoga and I began our dance I hadn’t just been a student … I had already been teaching as well – High School Drama and Corporate Training to be specific and although both held much appeal and seemed to suite me in many ways, I never felt completely at home, or as if it was the THING I should do.  Something was missing.  Basically I was teaching, but didn’t feel like a teacher.  I mostly just felt lost, scared and confused with bright spots in my life.  Like amazing children and finally meeting a great man to help me raise them… and that’s where things changed (personally I think it’s because fate is nosey and bossy, but that’s just one woman’s opinion).

I married this amazing man and stuck it out with my mostly unsatisfying corporate training job, where I might have stayed had fate not dealt a cruel blow.  I was widowed.  The day my husband passed something broke and I went to a dark, dark, dark place.   About a month after he died I woke up one day (it was a Wednesday) and said “I can’t live like this – I heard that yoga can help people with sadness – I am going to a class today!”   I was strung out on xanax and can honestly say I have no idea where I had gotten the notion that yoga could help in these situations…but nonetheless I went online and found the closest class I could make it to…Noon Yoga C1, Corepower Cherry Creek.

I fell in love. And yoga responded by saving my life.

Sound farfetched? Oversimplified? Maybe, but it’s the god’s honest truth. In hindsight I can’t even pretend to not see how I was forced to finally get on my path…but I’m skipping ahead.

I went into yoga heart first. I was the weeping girl in savasana. I sometimes cried from the moment I walked into the studio.  Partly because I was stiff, sore and overweight and the classes were in no small way physically easy, outside of the emotional baggage!

I was going to multiple classes a day. This stuff worked!!  I was losing weight, feeling better, getting off the antidepressants, and amazingly, engaging in life.   Only a few months in, I took my first teacher training. Not necessarily to teach, but to learn.

I fell in love.  And yoga repaid me by giving me a calling.

I met my first teacher, whom I still love, adore and worship to this day.  Alanna Kaivalya, The Kaivalya Yoga Method.   I still echo her words even though it would be some time before I stepped into my role of teacher.   She is a part of the tapestry that has become my path.   She gave me a love for chanting and mythology that has led me further into my studies. Alanna took me to my first Kirtan and there I found another teacher in Dave Stringer! At her feet I rediscovered the divine.  She sparkled and reminded me that I had once sparkled too.

During yoga teacher training a guest teacher came to give us a workshop and I was introduced to restorative yogaand a very tantric outlook on yoga.

I fell in love. And yoga repaid me by giving me another teacher.

That guest teacher would become my next muse. Miss Shannon Paige Schneider, OmTime Yoga; Anjali Restorative Yoga, Moving Muse.   Under her guidance I sat at the feet of Douglas Brooks and Carlos Pomeda and my view of yoga would be forever shaped in a certain direction.  At her studio I took classes from Amy Ippoliti and the Anusaraseed was planted, yet at the end of the day it was the TANTRA that sang to my soul.

Over the years I took many classes and several 100’s of hours of workshops.  From Paul Grilley to Baron Baptiste; From Hot Yoga to Kundalini;  From brand new teachers to some really bitter burned out teachers too – and I loved them all…. Eventually I began teaching consistently and that’s when I discovered something.

I fell in love.  And yoga repaid me by connecting me to the divine.

The shift was happening. I was moving from strictly student to teacher, but I still felt so unprepared, so inadequate, so scared and yet, and yet when I taught, it was like I could finally see clearly.  And no matter what else was happening in my life, no matter how I felt before I got there…the minute I started teaching . . . Pure Joy.

You see I don’t want to teach – I NEED to teach.

So I do. I teach. And I’ve been told I have a gift. I know it feels that way…it’s a gift for me to be able to teach.   The journey continues….

Oh heavens the story is too much. How I got where I am and why. I will explain, no there is too much, I will sum up.  I moved, fell in love again (because apparently I am the luckiest woman alive), remarried, and started teaching more.  And then, somewhere along the way, I knew to keep teaching I needed my own teacher.  I have been seeking that teacher for nearly two years now… looking, researching, testing and for two years nothing really inspired me beyond own studies and my own teaching.

Now during this time I studied to become a certified hypnotherapist and studied yoga Nidra and I created my own brand, so to say, of yoga called HypnoRestorative Yoga.  But still I wanted a guru.  A teacher.  I kept researching.  Sure taking Alanna’s class in Bali sounded awesome…but remember I’m a yoga teacher and flights to Bali aren’t exactly high on my possibility list! Besides as much as I love her, I just felt there was a different direction for me. So I waited, and along the way I became a grandma.

I fell in love.  And yoga rewarded me with a new direction.

I moved to be close to my grandson.  I left behind students and a thriving yoga community. I leapt.  It hasn’t always been easy, but something wonderful happened.  One incident after another led me to Rod Stryker and Para Yoga – People I have met, teachers I have worked with, teachers I have hired for workshops — all have brought me back to this man and his work and his teachings.  I sat at his feet recently.

I fell in love. And yoga rewarded me with my next teacher.

But alas unless things changed drastically financially I couldn’t imagine HOW I would sit  at his feet again.  I was online…I found the scholarship program. I was AMAZED to see ParaYoga listed.  Is it silly of me to say it just seemed like fate?  Silly or not, I once again I had that fated “it is meant to be” feeling.

So here I am.  Typing my abbreviated yoga story — yeah abbreviated, scary huh? -  Because I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that my life’s calling is to teach yoga and I believe that I am meant to be the best possible teacher I can possibly be and to achieve that I must continually put on the mantel of student.

And I fall in love all over again.  And yoga rewards me by letting me both teacher and student.

The program asked 4 questions.

Why do you want to become a yoga teacher?

I say: Because it is my dharma.  Because I love it and nothing gives me greater joy than sharing that love with others.

Who are your favorite yoga teachers and how did they inspire you?

My late husband Robert LaFavor-  who taught me to love and from there the rest was easy.

My Husband Carl Giles-Courtwright – who inspires me everyday with his undying affection, faith and support.

Alanna Kaivlya – she gave me back my hope my smile and my laughter.

Shannon Paige –Schneider – for teaching me fierce love and radical self-acceptance  Paul Grilley –  for reminding me it’s OK to think for myself.

Lanita Varshell for reminding me that yoga is for every body.

Jen Brooks for teaching me to follow my heart.

Rachel Walsh for helping me fully embrace my role as teacher.

Nova Sprick for helping me believe again.

Laura Brown – for teaching me to believe in myself and to not be afraid to act and pursue my dreams.

My family and friends who teach me everyday about myself and life.

And all the masters, gurus and seekers that have come before and paved the way. Their books and teachings inspire me daily.

Why do you want to take a yoga teacher training with the school you have chosen?

I believe I have finally found a school/teacher (Rod Stryker @ ParaYoga) that will take me in the direction I am destined to go…I believe this is the learning that will help me fulfill my dharma.

How do you plan to make an impact in the world as a yoga teacher?

Igniting passion.  Living Joyously.  Sharing Laughter.  Radical Self Affirmations.

Love. Imagination.  Peace and tranquility.

Balance = Strength = Vitality. You, Fully Realized.

One person, one student, one smile and one day at time until we reach a critical state of love,  joy and contentment.

And in the deepest well of my heart I want to mentor and help other teachers fully step into their power…I suppose I want to be a teacher’s teacher and help people move from training to teaching, for it is my belief that when we all accept and share are divine gifts fully that is when the world will become the magnificent garden it is meant to be.

Bow your head to your heart – as we move through life may we honor this connection by leading with a heart full of love and guiding with a mind full of compassion.

Namaste.

2012 Yoga Scholarship Essay

I have spent a lot of time in self reflection recently – it’s something I need to do every so often to make sure I am on track and “walking my talk”.  You may or may not be aware of the many scandals/unrest in the greater yoga community and I’m sad to say it shook me up a bit, made me question what I was doing and more importantly how I was doing it, not an easy dilemma to face. 

I’m happy to say the hours of meditation have brought me mostly back to center and that I am back with a renewed sense of wonder for my own personal practice as well as a new view of who I am as a teacher.  But that means I am a different teacher, and I hope this will be a welcome change for my current students!

Donation Classes in No Name: Same time as above

All Classes when I travel will be on a suggested donation basis as well. This will limit what studios I work with so I hope you will travel a bit to find me if I don’t come to my regular watering holes

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The other day someone asked me the perennial question “how often do you practice yoga”…I know, I know they meant  asana…but sometimes I weary of the question.  Why?  Well, because every moment of my existence is a yoga practice. Sometimes I practice well and I live in this space of a nonjudging, non grasping, non straining observer that flows with life…Other times; well let’s say sometimes practice is not perfect.

Sometimes I forgive myself and others and other times… hey I am only human  after all.

Some days my “practice” includes time on the mat practicing my asanas, other days it only involves pranayama, sometimes meditation, sometimes the best I do is not punch someone (I call that discernment don’t you?)  I can honestly say that my best yogic practice is of Jnana yoga (knowledge) there isn’t a day goes by that I am not studying either a text or myself…a lot of days I prefer the texts, as my own self isn’t always that pretty to look at…back to meditation…it’s a work in progress

But no matter how you slice it yoga is my whole existence.  From studying to devotion, from figuring out how I can best serve my relationship and my self. To letting go of illusions about myself and others…to creating my classes and my playlists, to writing my blogs…but in spite of this very “yogic” outlook there is one thing I refuse to do…and that’s take myself or even yoga too seriously.

I respect the practice, the power of it…I find the words, the history amazing and sacred and I hope to be the best human I can be because of its influence in my life…but alas I still want to be just human.

So please forgive me if sometimes my yoga practice doesn’t look as yogic to you…I may get angry and even say bad words (oh who I am kidding I am practically the “cussing yogi”)  I may laugh too loud, or eat too much,  or drink too much I may stumble and not even be recognizable as a yogi…don’t judge the yoga or the practice on my humanity.

I will pick myself up and try again — an ongoing practice a continual dance of yoga, spirituality, reality, illusion…determining what is distraction and what is playfulness.   So I am going to keep letting  the good times roll, I will continue to live laugh and love within the framework  of my yoga practice and if that doesn’t work for you…well I am feeling very non-judgey so just go about your life and I will do the same.

It’s 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it’s dark… and we’re wearing sunglasses.

Hit it.

Did you ever see The Blues Brothers?  I mean besides being a classic an funny, do you really remember what it was about?  do you remember what drove even these “criminals” to do what they did?

What do you have in your life that drives you? How does it feel to do what you do everyday, is it your passion? joy? does it serve the world?

…you have unique abilities and your own way of expressing them. There are needs in this world for which your specific talents are ideally suited, and when the world’s needs are matched with the creative expression or your talents, your purpose – your dharma – is realized”

Dharma defined? Well it has a few definitions … for Deepak and his view of yoga it is defined as Life’s Purpose.

 In the context of Hinduism, it refers to one’s personal obligations, calling and duties(that sounds life purposey)

 according to Wikipedia:  Dharma (help·info) (Sanskrit: धर्म dhárma, Pali: धम्म dhamma; lit. that which upholds or supports) means Law or Natural Law (as in the natural order of things)

 The idea of dharma as duty or propriety derives from an idea found in India’s ancient legal and religious texts that there is a divinely instituted natural order of things and justice, social harmony and human happiness require that human beings discern and live in a manner appropriate to the requirements of that order

For practicing Buddhists, references to “dharma” (dhamma in Pali) particularly as “the Dharma”, generally means the teachings of the Buddha, commonly known throughout the East as Buddha-Dharma.

For Sikhs, the word Dharm means the “path of righteousness”

 The word Dharma encompasses the following meanings in Jainism:

The true nature of a thing

Rationality of perception, knowledge and conduct

Ten virtues like forgiveness, etc. also called ten forms of Dharma

Ahimsa – protection to all living beings

Two paths – of the monks and the laity

Dharma as a dravya (substance or a reality) (the principle of motion)

That’s a lot of defining…From the book Deepak further expounds that Dharma has three components -

1. that the ultimate purpose is to discover your higher self

2. acknowledge and express your unique talents

3. serve others

Expressing your gifts in service to others is the highest expression of the Law of Dharma…

You know it’s funny but I can honestly say I love this chapter of the book, I don’t even feel like I have much to add to it.  Not every word of the book has resonated, not every moment has been a big AHA for me, but this chapter just seemed complete .   I feel like this topic is well covered in the book and it reflects my feelings on the subject beautifully…I seek that Dharma every day and feel blessed to feel that I am well on the way.

My gifts and graces are being served and I believe that sharing them has, at least for a few individuals, made the world a happier place. I continue to refine those skills, continue to work on believing in them and sharing them selflessly.     I am reminded that when things are in harmony they flow and when we push too hard things break…slow down  - pay attention – listen, the answers are all inside of you.

I have so enjoyed this journey through this book and I loved sharing it with my students and the blogosphere.  I hope that you have garnered a bit of info from these reviews/studies.  I recently started reading The 7 spiritual laws of Superheroes perhaps that will find its way into my blog as well…Until then remember to breathe and smile

 Om varunam namah – My life is in harmony with cosmic law.

Indifference looks like detachment, but it is not; indifference is simply no interest. Detachment is not absence of interest — detachment is absolute interest, tremendous interest, but still with the capacity of non-clinging. Enjoy the moment while it is there and when the moment starts disappearing, as everything is bound to disappear, let it go. That is detachment. OSHO

This week I focused on Law 6 from The 7 Spiritual Laws of Yoga (Deepak Chopra) – Detachment

the first line of the chapter from this book states: “…reveals a great paradox of life. In order to acquire something in this world, you have to relinquish your attachment to it. This doesn’t mean you give up the intention to fulfill your desire – you simply give up your attachment to the outcome” —

the emphasis on simply  is mine…simply? gee if it was simple I don’t think I would be where I am today, how about you?

It’s not like this is a new concept at this point.  If you look at Law 5, detachment is an important part of intention and desire… you can read more about that here.   However it is important in and of itself and is a huge component of living a contented life.

I have come to the conclusion (sort of strong word for me, as always I reserve the right to change my mind based on new information) that the seeking is the problem.  When we seek a specific outcome we limit ourselves and create a barrier to contentment that simply doesn’t need to be there.  When we cease seeking and just reside in the experiences, the good, the bad, the beautiful and the ugly…then no matter what we get or don’t get we can be pretty darn cool with it.

This however is not an excuse to become Eeyore… which was the extreme my father lived in…”best not to expect or hope lest you are just disappointed” …still gives me the heebie jeebies…

this is not about letting go of hope or trying or striving…It’s actually the most hopeful state of being I have experienced so far in life, you have to have a lot of faith in goodness and meaning though so it’s not for the faint of heart.

this is also NOT about sitting on your couch waiting for things to fall in your lap….or an excuse as to why you haven’t ever done anything – we still need to be engaged and active,  but for the sake of the action not the outcome!

Those whose consciousness is unified abandon all attachment to the results of action and attain supreme peace. But those whose desires are fragmented, who are selfishly attached to the results of their work, are bound in everything they do.
Bhagavad Gita (c. BC 400-, Sanskrit poem incorporated into the Mahabharata)

 

Some of you may prefer the term non-attachment, although I think if we define detachment in the aforementioned manner this is merely a matter of semantics. Too often detachment has gotten a bad rap because people have used it as an excuse to not participate.

To spare oneself from grief at all cost can be achieved only at the price of total detachment, which excludes the ability to experience happiness
Erich Fromm (1900-1980, German born American social Philosopher and Psychoanalyst)

In Deepak’s Book he states:

the only true security come from your willingness to embrace the unknown, the realm of uncertainty.

But I think many people have discovered this truth for themselves…it’s the old story of the bar soap…the tighter you squeeze the faster it slips out of your grasp.

When you learn not to want things so badly, life comes to you.
Jessica Lange (1949-, American actress)

By letting it go, it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try the world is beyond the winning.
Lao-Tzu(BC 600-?, Chinese philosopher, founder of Taoism)

From the perspective of practicing yogaDeepak lay out these three steps:

1.  Practice Detachment – one goal of yoga is flexibility, for which detachment is an essential feature. Attachment breeds rigidity. Allow yourself and those around you the freedom to be natural. Notice that when you force solutions on problems you often created new problems that didn’t previously exist. From the experience of asana relinquish your attachment to an idealized pose. Yoga is not a competitive sport and you will not achieve integration of body mind spirit through force and effort.

2. Embrace Uncertainty –  watch how creative solutions to problems spontaneously emerge out of chaos!

3.Surrender to the field of pure potentiality – focus your attention and intention and the release your attachment to a specific outcome and observe how it easily falls into place.

As with all things we walk the middle road…be wary of those that tell you to disconnect from life to find something.

be wary of those that say it’s all about achieving a specific goal.

Somewhere in the middle is the juicy bits of life, a place of detached involvement that has you living your passion while enjoying what the universe brings your way. Now that’s a JUICYcontradiction!

Set your intention, and trust the universe to take care of the details.
Mike Fotheringham

You cannot change anything in your life with intention alone, which can become a watered-down, occasional hope that you’ll get to tomorrow. Intention without action is useless.
Caroline Myss 

This week we reviewed Law 5 from Deepak Chopra’s “7 Spiritual laws of Yoga” and when I read the chapter I was reminded of when I was introduced to the word Svaha…and falling head over heals with the word. This idea of offering it up to the fires of the universe (or as I learned it “Sanskrit for f*ck it)  A concept there heretofore in my control freakish nature was unheard of in my corner of the world. This concept of setting goals but not controlling every detail was mind blowing for me. And I suspect it is for many of us.

And with further study I also realized that the answer we got to this control freak nature was not serving our needs either. We went  from a culture of do and act and when that didn’t work the answer was affirmation and visualizations. Unfortunately we quickly realized that sitting around thinking about it doesn’t quite work either.

Deepak brings it all together quite nicely (he’s not the first or the only one – but I am reviewing his book)

1. Be clear about your intentions and desires

2. Surrender the outcome to nature

3. Do not allow any obstacles to consume or dissipate the quality of your attention in the present moment

From the perspective of our yoga practice this has such a cooling and softening effect. Our intention for practice can be set but we can give up the need to attain or reach a specific place in said practice.   This builds on the practice of non-attachment (aka detachment)and It compliments the idea of giving and receiving.

Truthfully he goes into the concept of energy and quantum reality – but I think it’s overkill. You can’t get where you want to go unless you know where that is, but you have to be willing to take detours and even adjust your destination…that’s about it…why do we want to make everything so complicated?  Everything I need to know about this law I learned from riding my motorcycle -

If don’t pay attention bad things happen

Silence can help you hear your true thoughts

If you don’t write things down immediately they will be forgotten

If you push yourself past your limits regardless of your original goal it can get dangerous and loses its joy

if you hold on too tightly it’s harder to avoid the bumps

and most importantly – Where you look is where you go

So I leave you with this – where is your attention and intention in your life currently? What areas of your life have taught you about the principle of intention and desire?

This one was particularly interesting because my understanding of it really did change as I taught my classes.  At first it seemed to want us to submit and I saw it as a great excuse to relax and not work very hard. But in the end it isn’t about not working but truly working smarter and not harder, about applying work and effort where it will do the most good…

It’s the idea of leverage and not beating your head against a wall. It’s the idea of choices.

We see the possibility in the moment but we don’t regret the moment. We let go of being upset where we are and we sit with it, we love this experience and trust…trust…trust.

 1. I will practice Acceptance. Today I will accept people, situations, circumstances, and events as they occur. I will know that this moment is as it should be, because the whole universe is as it should be. I will not struggle against the whole universe by struggling against the moment.

 

Acceptance is not submission; it is acknowledgement of the facts of a situation. Then deciding what you’re going to do about it.”  Kathleen Casey Theisen

You can rail against the moment as much as you like, you can be angry about it or feel sorry for yourself you can, but will it serve any purpose?  It is. It is. It is. So now what.

2. Having accepted things as they are, I will take Responsibility for my situation and for all those events I see as problems. I know that taking responsibility means not blaming anyone or anything for my situation (and this includes myself). I also know that every problem is an opportunity in disguise.

 

In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility.
Eleanor Roosevelt 

We tend to be on either side of this fence, there are those living in a victim paradigm that feel all responsibility lies outside and on the other side we feel we are worthless and useless and total failures, taking blame rather than responsibility. Being responsible give us options, choices and hope and is not an excuse to wallow on either side.

3. Today my awareness will remain established in Defenselessness. I will relinquish the need to defend my point of view. I will feel no need to persuade others to accept my point of view. I will remain open to all points of view and not be rigidly attached to any one of them

 

If there is any one secret of success, it lies in the ability to get the other person’s point of view and see things from that person’s angle as well as from your own.
Henry Ford 

 

Uhh yeah…I think you should just refer to my blog on Dogma for my take on this….

As per usual I can’t agree with “everything” – it’s a character flaw…defect? Skill? Well any way this particular quote from the book had me questioning…

If you observe nature at work, you will see that least effort is expended. Grass doesn’t try to grow, it just grows. Fish don’t try to swim, they just swim. Flowers don’t try to bloom, they bloom. Birds don’t try to fly, they fly. This is their intrinsic nature.

Does that look effortless to you?

But I think nature does work hard. I don’t think nature quits just because it’s hard. It doesn’t just lay down and play dead. What it seems to do is work with what is there.  Grass won’t grow in the winter, it accepts that it’s too cold and waits for spring. Fish swim upstream against current, against odds, because that is what prepares them to have the best offspring.  Flowers have to push little by little working hard to push through dirt to bloom.  Nature is of course the perfect metaphor but rather than saying we should just flow because nature does I think we should learn to accept that sometimes we will have to work hard, sometimes it is time to rest and wait, sometimes we have to let go…sometimes its not what we do, but when we do it and  nature teaches us that all experiences are good and necessary and when it is all good in our own lives bliss is not too far behind.

The life I touch for good or ill will touch another life, and that in turn another, until who knows where the trembling stops or in what far place my touch will be felt.

Frederick Buechner

This week I am attempting to work with Deepak Chopra’s Third Spiritual Law from “The seven spiritual laws of yoga”. The first two laws (law 1 and law 2) had this sort of restorative, rejuvenating — uplifting effect on me. But this pesky Karma talk gets me all tied up in knots.   It always has…I feel like just as I’m about to grasp the concept some random nagging thought comes in and sweeps away understanding.  Sometimes I put the book down and say “hogwash” (I generally have that reaction more with Buddhism, sorry Way J )  Sometimes after I declare it all baloney an inner voice tells me that is just my ignorance speaking and it only seems like hogwash because I’m not ready to accept it…I’m telling you Saturday nights are a blast with me!

My first sticking point was “well we just had the law of giving and receiving isn’t that the same darn thing” (I may have used harsher language, I’m prone to that)  It’s not like this was the first time I had studied Karma, and I had heard that admonition that westerns just didn’t get it more than once. Heck I agreed, I didn’t get it and it seemed every time I read something or heard something more on the subject it just upset me more.    It always felt like the old “I before E” rule…too many exceptions to make it a law or rule…[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QWzYaZDK6Is[/youtube]

“it’s i before e except after c and when sounding like a as in neighbor and way and on weekends and holidays and all throughout may and you’ll always be wrong no matter what you say!

But then maybe it was because people just saw it differently, or maybe I just get bothered because then I have to look at my life and KNOW that the “issues” I am having are my own damn fault.  OK I believe that anyway, but darn it sometimes I like to pretend that some things were out of my control and I wouldn’t be in this mess if it weren’t for those meddling kids. Or at least some things were “just empty boats”.

“I discovered I always have choices

and sometimes it’s only

a choice of attitude.”

Judith M. Knowlton, author

But as I look at my current struggles I know, I know that they are there to help me learn and to grow past my old ways of doing things and of thinking.

This isn’t easy folks. Don’t let any free wheeling hippy freak tell you that peace, love and tye dye is an easy path.   There are samskaras to face, habits to transmute, releasing to experience – OH MY. And then there are families and relationships and desires to overcome and attachments to errr detach from and and and  ……Bhagavad Gita take me away.

People pay for what they do, and still more, for what they have allowed themselves to become. And they pay for it simply: by the lives they lead.

Edith Wharton

Men are not punished for their sins, but by them.

Elbert Hubbard

Ok this seems a bit too much like that whole giving and receiving (hey that follows the “rule” of I before E except after C) thing, I do something it comes back to me.  (In the Wiccan world this is why they have the “an it harm none” rule, as not only does stuff come back on you it comes back 7 fold…good and bad)  Oh wait there is no good and bad…Never mind that’s a whole other Oprah.  So I read that to say what we do comes back on us. But wait there’s more…

The law of karma, blessed ones, is not intended to act as a lash, to tear apart the souls of men. The law of karma is intended to instruct and to cause mankind to approach the throne of grace without fear, with the clearness of mind and being that will render them able to receive the pure vibratory action of Almighty God.

ANNICE BOOTH, The Path to Your Ascension

Karma isn’t fate. Nor is it a punishment imposed on us by some external agent. We create our own karma. Karma is the result of the choices that we make every moment of every day.

TULKU THONDUP, Peaceful Death

Soooooo….it’s all about choices?

From Deepak’s book:  The third spiritual law of success pertains to karma; or cause and effect. Every action we take generates a force of energy that returns to us in kind – as we sow, so we reap. (still sounds like giving and receiving a bit huh?)  When we consciously choose actions that bring happiness and success to others, the fruit of our karma is happiness and success.

So as I read, re-read and re-re-read his chapter on karma, a million quotes and some other online resources this is my take on karma as of today (disclaimer: I never ever assert that any opinion or understanding I have today or any day will be the one I hold on any other given day, my experience of life and all matters therein is ever growing, expanding, changing and transforming – if you are looking for absolutes I don’t think I can help you)

First I think it needs to be made clear that I personally believe in past lives, a continuing soul or personality, ghost energies (or at least I don’t NOT believe in them)  I have a very non-dualistic bent to my philosophy and I guess another sticking point of many Karmic explanations was this idea of punishment and escape from the endless horrific cycle of birth and death.

If you have read any of my other posts you know that I believe the point of life is LIFE, it’s pleasures, it’s understandings, it’s joy, pain, beauty and that nirvana is experienced by living fully not by escaping rebirth.

That said the notion that what I might be working towards is NO karma, that all action creates karma (and this I know is a very boiled down simplistic view)  and our goal is to detach from karma and get the hell out of here. (Ok using the word hell is an interesting choice huh?)

So how does a past life non-dualist experience karma…or understand karma?

I mean if it’s not punishment then why have it?

I believe we are meant to become the best human possible. Not stop being human, but come to a place where we are living our fullest potential.   And to do this we must know all aspects of humanity; to experience being the captor and the prisoner, the victor and the loser; ruler and serf; we must know success and failure; joy and pain.  So for me I don’t see my struggle with finances as punishment for once having money or retribution for taking or anything so linear and exact.  My vision is that I will over the course of many lives have many different combinations of experiences. Born to wealth, gaining wealth, losing wealth… In this life I have been blessed with love that rivals fairy tales and more than once. My guess is that in other lives I have been alone and sometimes even lonely. I am not rewarded per se, but each life is a way to have a different combination of blessings and lessons so in time I will have a complete understanding of the human condition and in that I will be the best human possible for I will have true compassion for all states of being.

In between I get to rest in the heart of my true being and as I rest I come up with great schemes to enjoy or understand some other aspect of humanity.

So do I see that we carry karmic “debt” forward? I just don’t. Nor do I believe we carry karmic “reward”.  I see it as the tapestry of experiences, of a log book that allows us to see some new aspect of our humanness. Perhaps we choose to carry lessons forward because as we rest in pure source we see things we would like to do differently — we challenge ourselves to create something new out of a particular experience. Some people explain this as you keep doing the same thing until you learn your lesson. That sounds a bit like punishment, but perhaps the reality is “you are destined to relive a certain pattern until you are pleased with the outcome”.

Our lives are defined by the choices we make, but nothing is either punishment or reward, this is no nun with a ruler universe.  Merely that ever changing “choose your ending” book, that you get to read and re-read as often as you like to keep getting that different ending. It’s fun, it’s a game – what does your ending look like this life? And next life how will you choose to read that book?